It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles.

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you”.

This quote from Buddha was metioned in an article by a well known Board Certified Hypnotist on a hypnotist journal…and it could have never been more timely for me !

I have been struggling finding my best self in this imposed self confinement, when I got suddenly separated from my dear ones, the persons who helped me stay mentally and emotionally strong ! I have always considered myself as a strong person, but when your world turns around and you lose your certainties, even the strongest person can lose it ! And I lost it, at least at the very beginning !  

My desire for human connection, was so strong that I was sinking into sadness and emotional pain. I was spending most of my energy trying to keep mentally and emotionally stable, making the best of what I had, practising meditation and self hypnosis as many times a day as I could but nothing seemed to help.

I was so upset with myself, after all I knew better, I should have managed the situation like a pro. But I was not able to, I was losing it, and I was losing faith in myself, in my ability to help myself, the people I love, and, most of all, my clients !

Then, my gifted mentor reminded me that I was not focusing on the right thing ! I was focusing on the lack of human connection, rather than on my desire for it, and that was attracting only sorrow. She reminded me that I am the only one responsible for how I feel, that the power lies within myself, that I can find new ways to feel connected, be creative and feel great no matter what the external circumstances are !

And everything changed : I still miss my dear ones, the possibility to hug them and talk while sitting close to one another, but now I can live with that feeling because I can rapidly shift my focus on how good it feels when we are together, and on how it will be nice when we’ll be able to hug each other again. I can now smile when I fantasize about the day we will be free to see each other again. Still some days are harder than others, but I can catch myself getting sad or negative and I change my thinking towards empowering and positive thoughts. It needs to be more intentional, but it still works and makes me feel hopeful and positive.

And I can also feel great now, while still separated from them, because I can enjoy time alone, have fun doing my favourite activities, to do my work more quietly, exercise to keep my body and mind active, and that makes me strong to live through this crisis with contentment and faith ! And, as a bonus, when I connect to my loved ones, our conversations are pleasant and focused on the beauty of life and of our relationships !

The key is to find our strenght, our happiness, our fulfillment inside ourselves. That doesn’t mean that we don’t need others to function well, humans are social beings, we can’t thrive without loving and caring for others. We just need to remember to love and take care of ourselves first. Now more than ever, it is important to learn to become our best friends, to find internal peace in the middle of chaos, to focus on our desires and enjoy the great feelings they generate inside us, so that we can show up for others giving them our best, sincere self. We’ll come out of this difficult moment much stronger, and our relationships will flourish!