Mother and baby

“It takes a village to raise a child”

This proverb, of African origins, underlines the power of community and shared effort  in achieving a goal, like raising a child. The power of community is vital for our well-being, even more for new parents.

Still, in today’s world we don’t always have a village to support us and help us through this new phase of our lives. And for those mothers who do, there are still moments when they are alone with their crying baby, or when they look at themselves in the mirror not liking what they see, and those moments feel awkward and extremely lonely. Being alone with a new baby, having to deal with whacked-out hormones and a serious lack of sleep contribute to the baby-blues, that moodiness that comes after giving birth in 80% of women. Even though this is a temporary transition, it is vital to find support and stay connected with family, friends, or any other community you belong to, to go back faster to our normal state. 

While connection and emotional support should be our priority, there is value in investing time in self-care practices that can boost our well-being when we most need it. 

Havening® , a psychosensory technique, uses soothing touch to increase our mental and emotional well-being.  Self-Havening is the application of Havening touch to oneself and it is a great self-care practice to integrate in our daily routine. Self-Havening can be used by moms, dads and children to restore a sense of calm and safety. By Havening regularly, we build resilience and adaptive capacity -  the ability to handle daily challenges without being overtaken by them. Applying Havening touch to other members of the family, e.g. a mother Havening on her baby or toddler, or couples Havening on each other, increases a sense of calmness, safety and also strengthens the connection between them. It is a great way to bond to our newborn baby while providing them with the care they need.

Below is a handout showing how to Haven on yourself and on your baby (available at www.humanitarianhavening.org)